VIVAPoets

The wounds you left upon me have long since healed over, Though I no longer feel them I find I can still recall the moments when the ache was fresh, Still echoing through my thoughts and words and lungs and I was Left staring, unblinking, as the evidence of your touch peeled and chipped from my fingernails, All while resisting the urge to rip at myself and they say, They say it takes seven years to grow all new cells, Seven years to purge you from my skin. Seven years, seventy showers, the seven seconds it took for you to finally, finally whisper the truth and, I can no longer stand the sound of your breath. Your huffs of denial and

I think I’m shifting again A slow progression to the churning seas A gentle trek amid rising pines Felled forests Burning trees. I think I’m moving again, Beginning and ending No longer reversing, No longer rewinding. And it is fear And joy And uncertainty and doubt Sliding against each other in slow tandem When before the movements were frantic And useless At Best. I am shifting. Becoming and returning. Progressing and forgetting My triggers My fears The words said that sent jolts of panic through my heart The memories relived that tore screams from my lips. They fade and fall and linger as wisps and nothing more I am shifting.

I hurt you today. Hurt and hurt and hurt. Broke and shattered, Deep and quick, Sleek and hidden, I found it all. Everything protected, everything concealed. Torn apart with knives of breath, Shredded within blurred light. You hurt today, hurt and burn. I shift, shift and ache. Breathe and count, Count mistakes, count lines, Dozens, thousands, circling, and retracting, Hurting and healing, Cutting and burning. Harmed and harming. Breaks in skin, Burns in mind, Peeled back, stripped bare. Unable to retract, unable to diffuse, Unable to snuff out. I hurt you. I hurt.

Lately I've just been thinking of how weak I used to be As the new kid nobody knew, they chose to pick on me I was just a little kid and I wouldn't know what to do I'd come home each day, my pride hurt more than the wounds My eyes burned from the tears, punches hurt less than the fears Bullies will be bullies, insincere, left me forsaken here Year after year, sneer after sneer, until it became clear I must have snapped at one point, I was so sick and tired of it all I was going to walk home shamelessly, today I'm not going to fall When they approached me that day, I fought back and I won I realized an easy life isn't just going to c

The sight of blood, The smell of blood Sends tremors through my body. I cannot tell If I'm delighted Or scared. I just stare at the blood, The blood that I spilled, And shiver.

I used to laugh openly, I used to cry in someone's arms, I used to smile at jokes, I used to love people, I used to care, I used to be human, But I'm not the same as I was, then.

With eccentricity, your icy glares coming from those golden eyes together with your puzzling ways seem to make me feel alright. The chills and electricity you send me from just one touch from your pale, crystal-dusted and ice cold skin...oddly enough gives me the most comfort. And the perplexed look on your face frustrated on how you can't read my mind, and desperately trying to focus less on my scent leaves me wondering too. The "alluring" scent of my blood the cause of your thirst or lust and the obvious fact that in a second you could kill me just as fast, calling the beautiful creature you are, a monster. Several tim

 One, two, three… step. It's a dance. One, two, three… step. The rhythm plays like music in my ears. One, two, three… step. It's my dance just for her. Deep here, in the shadows, cigarette smoke wrapping around my like a cloak, I dance our vicious dance. I tease myself with these little rendezvous. Her perfume clings to the air leaving a trail through the city streets. I close my eyes and taste the scent, it chokes me. And man does it feel too good. I hold my eyes shut for just a few more moments, never breaking our dance. I hear the steady clack, clack, clack of her healed boots against the pavement. I follow the sound. H

So quick to bring mirth, Laughter on all sides, a wall; Keeps the dark within.